tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79338778222793067582024-03-13T10:10:07.680-07:00Owl PostJenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.comBlogger564125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-71974919791105141992015-10-11T08:58:00.003-07:002015-10-11T08:58:55.475-07:004 years ago<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today marks four years since this sweet person left our family. we miss him more than we can say. such a sweet and wise little spirit, looking into his eyes felt like looking into eternity...he was peaceful even when he didn't feel well...when we didn't even know he didn't feel well. i love him so much and think of him everyday. everyday. still. forever. until we meet again.</div>
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Christian Hartley Wilson</div>
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August 18, 2011--October 11, 2011</div>
JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-57882732928892001372014-10-10T21:44:00.000-07:002014-10-10T21:44:24.855-07:00Three yearsseems like life keeps speeding by doesn't it? <br />
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we had a baby. a beautiful little boy. his name is McKay, and he was born on August 29th. i want to do a post about his birth, this is not that post. i need to get pictures off of kendall's phone first.<br />
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(i have felt the need to write down some thoughts about Christian. as much as this is a "journal" it is a place for me to write happy and sad things. comment if you want, but like in You've Got Mail "<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void." really it's more like there IS no hard and fast answer for the way i feel...</span>)<br />
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as i write this it is October 10. October 11th was the day that drastically changed our lives. the day our son Christian passed away. 3 years ago. i can scarcely believe that it was 3 years ago. and in the same breath, it feels SO much longer. i can't adequately explain the way time has behaved since he passed. i think one reason that it feels so much longer ago is that i feel like i was a different person then, that i am a different person now, since he is gone.<br />
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(Christian at the hospital when he was born)</div>
i do not in any way mean to be overly dramatic, but when a sudden tragic, life altering event occurs, such as a child passing away, that changes a person. in a large way. our entire family landscape is changed and we, as individuals, are profoundly altered. i am sure that each of us is changed in different ways. i know what has happened to me. i know i am more aware of how short a time we may have on this earth. i know that i get super anxious when kendall and all the kids go somewhere without me...i worry. a lot. really i am terribly afraid that someone else will pass away in our family. i also have a hard time saying "he died" in reference to Christian. it just sounds harsh, even though i know he is gone. we live quite close to the cemetery where Christian is buried, when we first moved i found i passed by it many times. and i could not bear to pass it without some kind of acknowledgement of my son...so i blow him a kiss. every time we go by there. those are small things that have happened to me, i can see some of what has changed with the kids and kendall, but i am not them, so i can't tell you for sure.<br />
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the level of grief that i felt in the immediate aftermath of finding out that he had passed away was super intense, and stayed at a very intense level for quite a while. but that level of grief is not sustainable over time. you simply can't live that way. eventually i have found the level at which i can live. am i still grieving? you betcha. i feel very acutely the absence of a very energetic 3 year old boy. sometimes i feel like i can catch a glimpse of him in the midst of our chaos, as he runs by me. i think about him everyday. </div>
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he is still the bath i am not giving, the lunch i am not making. i do not know what he prefers for dinner or if he likes orange juice or apple juice better.</div>
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with each child that we have added to our family after Christian (Camryn and Mckay) i have felt anew the sadness that these siblings won't play together here on earth. that i won't get to watch the beautiful relationships they would have. i have no doubt, whatsoever, that we all knew each other before this life, and that we will be together again, after this life is over. but here and now, with my finite, human mind, i am sad that all my children aren't together.</div>
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i almost feel like i am lying to people when they ask me how many kids we have, or when i was pregnant, what baby this was for us. it is six, 6!!! six children. 4 boys and 2 girls. he was really here, i will continue to count him, always. sometimes i explain to people the discrepancy, and sometimes i just don't. and sometimes i just let them count who they can see, and so they assume the number is 5. and then i feel disingenuous towards Christian, like maybe i am not remembering him the way i should, or like he wasn't really here, so he shouldn't be counted. Blake (and Avery) will draw pictures of our family. sometimes Blake especially won't put Christian in the picture, and sometimes i point it out. he makes sure to tell me that he is just drawing people who are in the house, not those in heaven. i gently remind him that he can always include Christian, and he tells me he knows he can. and sometimes he does. just not all the time. </div>
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looking at these pictures i am bawling...i just want him back. i just wish with all my soul that this awful, terrible experience had never happened. not that HE hadn't happened, just that his surgery went well and he came home with us, instead of what really happened. it isn't fair. but life isn't fair. it was never meant to be. i know this. i relearn it everyday. even though this is still so difficult to process and deal with, i would never, ever not have him. the time he spent with our family is precious to me, he is precious to me. what a sweet soul he is, and was, while he was here. i am so very grateful for him, for his place in our family. and so, in a way, i guess i am grateful for the grief; it is so hard and painful because we loved him so much. </div>
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(When he had to go back to the hospital around 3 weeks old)</div>
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we try to visit Christian's grave every month. we will hopefully do so on the 11th, because we are thinking of him and remembering him all that much extra. that this is our reality is still very unsettling sometimes to me. that this is our normal. i know so many others have had children pass away, so many others have endured so much heartache. this is my heartache though, my baby. i know that our family can be together forever, and we try to live everyday worthy of that amazing opportunity. </div>
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we miss our little man so very very much. i hope he knows how much we love him and how much we wish he was here. the plan for Christian's life was different than we had ever wanted, we are learning to accept it and live with it. </div>
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i was reminded of the poem "Death, be not proud" by John Donne recently and so i looked it up. </div>
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Death, be not proud, though some have called thee</div>
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Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;</div>
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One short sleep past, we wake eternally</div>
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And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.</div>
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<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-30858786901616940772014-06-03T07:42:00.001-07:002014-06-03T07:42:05.873-07:00Disneyland!!!Hey remember when I used to write on this blog? Yeah, me neither. It's just crazy how life wraps around me and speeds me away, it's been so long since I wrote! Cam is 18 months old now, gaining words everyday and is a firecracker, but very sweet:) The bigger kids are done with school....that sure went fast!!! Next year we'll have a 1st grader and a 3rd grader! Blake will miss the cut off for Kinder because his birthday is Halloween, but I am actually fine with that. I need some kids home right??:)<br />
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(last day of school for my kids...)</div>
We were able to take a fantastic vacation just recently to Disneyland, it was so amazing! We have never been, if you can believe it! And we have been talking about going for at least 2 years. We decided to do it now, because we are having another baby (i know right? it's a boy:) And baby is due in September. If we didn't go now, then the next non-peak time (meaning a few less people so we weren't SOOOOO overwhelmed) would be around when baby is due and that wouldn't work and I knew having him in rather than out of me would be infinitely easier at a place like Disney, so we took the kids for their last week of school. They missed the last 4 days but they didn't seem to mind:)<br />
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Disneyland is really one of the few places that lives up to all the hype, it was amazing! Kept in great condition, there were always people cleaning up little messes so it looked beautiful. They do a great job of having things for younger and older kids to do. The rides are engaging and tell a story, so they appeal to all ages, baby to adult.<br />
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(ethan was the last kid picked to be a padawan at the jedi training academy...whew! glad he got picked!)</div>
We rented a house while we were there, instead of staying in a hotel, it was about the same price, and we had a kitchen and laundry, and the kids had their own rooms they could go to to sleep. It was a very nice arrangement. i liked that aspect quite a bit:) We did have to drive to Disney everyday and pay to park, but we were ok with that.<br />
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I am so thankful we were able to go! It was beautiful weather, at least 15 degrees cooler than AZ, and we got to reconnect with some friends that we haven't seen in a while. We were able to take the kids to the beach, and I realized not only was it Camryn's first trip to the beach, but also Blake's and Avery's as well. We took Ethan when I was pregnant with Avery but I do not believe we've been back since then! Crazy!!!<br />
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The kids really did amazingly well with all the waiting and lines and such. We all got a little sunburned at the beach, but they had a blast playing!!! <br />
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As much as I loved this trip, I also really enjoyed coming home, to our own little bit of chaos, and seeing all the people I like the very best spending time together in our home. The sight and sounds of them playing together make me so happy and make all the difficult parts of family life worth it. They really do love each other and we were able to make some great memories together:)<br />
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<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-23391677397375708022013-11-18T20:02:00.001-08:002013-11-18T20:02:59.894-08:00Camryn Turns ONE!!! the passage of time sometimes astounds me. i literally feel like the weeks are minutes sometimes, they seem to pass so quickly. sometimes that is a good thing, if we are going through a rough patch, but mostly i look back and think, slow down, slow down! <br />
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<span style="text-align: start;">looking through some pictures tonight of Camryn when she was new, made me feel that even more. her first year has FLOWN by at top speed, and i was there through the whole thing, but man, it felt fast!!! </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;"> there have been definite hard times and hard days, but i have loved every minute of it. i think that Camryn has blessed our lives in ways we are only beginning to understand; the same could be said of all of our children, but with Cam it's a little different since she is the "rainbow baby." this is a term i learned a few months ago, it is applied to the child who is born after a child has passed away in a family. Rainbows are symbols of hope...and Camryn has definitely been that for us all.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;"> everyone in our home adores her, and wants her to be happy and smiley, to the nth degree. Her older siblings love to play with her and make her laugh and smile and we all can't stop kissing her, like for real, someone seems to be always kissing her!! she bears it well:) </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;"> i have a firm belief that Heavenly Father sends children to specific families for a reason, and also that the order of the children in the family is also part of His plan. i have seen that in my family of origin and i see it now in our family. Camryn coming after Christian's passing was no fluke, that's for sure.</span></div>
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Cam has 4 teeth, weighs about 18.8 pounds, wears size 12 month clothes and size 3 diapers. she nurses 3-4 times a day, but not for a huge amount of time and she likes cow's milk in her cup.</div>
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she loves baths, her siblings, music, swinging, yogurt, applesauce and is warming up to meat of all kinds.</div>
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she still doesn't love her carseat, we will probably turn her around in the next couple of months. she also is super wiggly and protests a lot during diaper changes and clothes changes, but such is her age:)</div>
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she tried to touch her candle tonight, i think all of our kids have, fire is alluring:) she didn't really know what to do about the cupcake, she kind of squished it and threw a lot of it on the ground. she tried some, spit some out (her favorite trick with food she's not sure about), and i think swallowed a little:)</div>
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she's super mobile, crawling and cruising furniture. we love her so much and are so very blessed and grateful to have her sweet little self in our home. we love you Camryn Elaine!!!</div>
<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-34880949835413041282013-11-08T13:50:00.001-08:002013-11-08T13:50:37.919-08:00Box it up!I honestly don't know how time is passing so quickly. It is already November, our baby will be 1 this month and Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner! Amazing! <br />
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well, first things first, I suppose...<br />
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WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!<br />
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AND BOXED UP ALLLLLLLLL OUR STUFF AND MOVED IT!<br />
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enough said right?</div>
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crazy town. </div>
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here's the house....</div>
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we really like it, and are getting settled. before we moved in, we (and by we I mean mostly Kendall and some awesome friends/family) repainted the entire inside. It was a lovely tan color before (which turned peach in the afternoon...NOOOOO!) and now it is a light gray. Much better!</div>
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Camryn has found a new love of climbing...onto boxes, in cabinets, up stairs, but thankfully not out of her crib. yet.</div>
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we had Halloween! barely! we'd been in the house for maybe 5 days and of course I hadn't done shopping/making costumes before because I was PACKING OUR WHOLE EXISTENCE INTO A BOX, so it was a Halloween miracle that we found the ONLY black pants and shirt at Walmart that would fit Camryn the day before Halloween. she was a cat if you couldn't tell, she was absolutely opposed to any form of whiskers/nose being painted on her face, so you know, imagine it.</div>
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2 zombies, a witch and her cat</div>
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Halloween means it was Blake's birthday, which is ON Halloween, yeah, that's right:) nice slow, nothing-going-on-time of the year to move right? (better now than later with Thanksgiving and Christmas though I say!)</div>
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Blake is so awesome though! Very high energy but very loving, sweet and kind, most of the time:) he is 4 though so no one is perfect:) he is such a blessing in our lives, he was the calm after the storm of ethan and avery who were more high maintenance babies than was Blake. He is a hugger and loves Monsters University and Inc, anything that Ethan and Avery like and he is obsessed with Playdoh! </div>
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I thought this was funny, Blake bit the candle after he blew it out, he tells us that he thought it was candy! hilarious!</div>
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one of the first things I tackled in this house was switching out the cabinet and drawer knobs/pulls. it is easy to do, so that was a plus, the kitchen is small so there's not a million, also a plus, and there were approximately 5 different finishes of knobs going on...so for my sanity this little project had to be done!!! above you can see a knob and pull, old style.</div>
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this is what I replaced them with....ahhhh...much better!</div>
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left side: old, right side: new.</div>
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I had ambitions of painting the cabinets since they are such a light color but after I spent one Saturday doing the projects below, I decided I would change the knobs and live with them light for a while. because the actual cabinets are in good shape, really. new knobs help...new countertop would help too:)</div>
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last Saturday I painted this old metal teacher's desk, this is before. pretty standard brownish/grayish, every teacher you ever had in elementary school had one...</div>
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this is the after: coral! I like it a lot!! I also like all the storage it has.</div>
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this was also painted the same day, this is the bottom of a hutch I bought on craigslist, not sure where the before picture of the top is.... it was a hasty paint job that was done on it before I got it. red inside, white outside.</div>
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we made it dark gray:) it has tons of storage which is great for our smaller amount of cupboards we have in this house. I have shelves for the upper cabinets, not pictured here, and there are also doors...we are debating on the door issue, they may make an appearance or not, they are chippy and red and not in super great shape right now. so i'll see if I tackle them or just make some awesome curtains to cover the holes on top. the awesome curtains will probably get made as an interim measure in any event because, you know, you don't want to see all that stuff hanging out on the shelves all the time:) this house has no blinds and no curtains...on any of the windows, so we are slowly buying blinds and are going to have a blind put up party this weekend I hope.</div>
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avery lost her first tooth on sunday 3rd, she was super excited!!!</div>
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we have a really great park near us, with tire swings (which is a big draw for the kids!) cam had her first experience with eating sand...no Bueno! it totally grosses me out, I have to give the kids a bath after they have been to any park, so having the sand in her mouth was not making me happy.</div>
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apparently they all like the sand:)</div>
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so we are still here, still alive, just trying to adjust and get settled in our new surroundings:) as I complete more projects for the house, I will definitely show them here:)</div>
JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-18672566835294242712013-08-18T22:06:00.002-07:002013-08-18T22:06:35.917-07:00This Month is Such a Special One...<div style="text-align: center;">
It's Birthday Time for You!</div>
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well, at least it is for some very special people in our family:)<br />
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On the 7th it was kendall's birthday. i don't have a picture of him, but he is extremely good looking, even at the ripe "old" age of 32. I like to tease him because he is just about 9 months older than me:) i just couldn't ask for a better husband or father for our children! happy birthday sweetheart!<br />
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this little lady turned 6 (SIX!!!) on the 12th! craziness i tell you! we love our avery girl, she is sweet and sassy. she is loving kindergarten but is, truthfully, having a hard time with the transition to no naps at all, because of of the timing of school, but we are working through it:) i remember ethan having a similar experience. she loves to draw, paint, take pictures, she likes to be read to, she likes to play with her growing zooble collection and she loves her brothers and sister fiercely. <span id="goog_1853974194"></span><br />
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Today Christian is 2. Man, 2 years seems to go really fast! it has been a hard two years but also good. I remember the time he was in our home as very happy and loving and that is what i am focusing on right now for this milestone. of course, i also think of what he would be like, what his little personality is like. who does he look like? does he like peanut butter and honey like avery and blake or peanut butter and jelly like ethan? we miss him so much. we love him with all we've got.</div>
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all decorated for his birthday</div>
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blake was somewhere pulling out butterflies and pinwheels from vases saying, "look mom, this one is awesome" or something like that:)</div>
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when we go to visit Christian the kids like to take off and look at the other graves too. they are especially interested in ones with flags (most probably meaning they were soldiers) and ones with interesting things in the vases. ethan reads the names for them i think:) this picture is from my spot by Christian.</div>
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after we had cupcakes; cam looks a little ticked we didn't give her one! This little mama is 9 months old today! officially on the outside as long as she was inside! awesome but it seems to have gone so fast! don't worry, we'll give her a cupcake on her birthday:)</div>
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and the girl is fast!!! she was sitting with me next to Christian's memorial marker after cupcakes and singing and she reached over and started grabbing things out of his vase like crazy! she wanted the balloon i think! crazy girl! camryn is army crawling like a pro and she is actually really fast at it. we are at that stage where we have to make sure we have cleaned up the floor pretty well and keep a weather eye out for scorpions because she just goes! Cam is a sweetheart, and she has the best giggle! it is so sweet! we just want to kiss her cute cheeks all day!</div>
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on a different note: after camryn was born last november kendall and i were watching a food network show or something that had a little blurb about a sandwich called a "Bobbie" from <a href="http://capriottis.com/index.php">Capriotti's.</a> it is the most amazing "thanksgiving" sandwich ever! shredded turkey, homemade cranberry sauce and awesome stuffing. we are kind of hooked on them...they make great lunch the next day too, since they are rather large:) yum-o!</div>
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and hey if you made it this far great job!!! i am putting things in my etsy shop lately! i have a mini etsy on the sidebar, check it out:)</div>
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<span id="goog_1853974193"></span>JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-13100309348907956622013-07-14T23:07:00.000-07:002013-07-14T23:07:10.438-07:00crafty crafts...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
i mentioned before that i made some shirts for Father's Day this year...these are 3 of them...</div>
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a la Jim Gaffigan...if you haven't listened to the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-i9GXbptog">Hot Pocket bit</a> by Jim Gaffigan, do yourself a favor and listen to it now!!!so funny!</div>
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this is an inside family joke....</div>
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this was for Kendall's Grandpa, he does indeed own his own golf cart, in case you were wondering</div>
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i made some new Fourth of July decorations this year...this topiary was inspired <a href="http://www.simplydesigning.net/2011/06/star-topiaries-4th-of-july-edition.html">by these</a></div>
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this was a Pick Your Plum deal, as was the "summer" below...lots of fun!</div>
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i made the kids shirts for the 4th again this year...i wanted to try out this technique i had seen, where you paint the design on and then dye over it. our shirts started out white, i painted the white and red on, and then dyed them. i like how they turned out, this picture above is before it was washed, the blue lightened up quite a bit, and next time i need to wait some days in between the painting and the dyeing...it was making the paint come off a bit when i had it in the hot hot dye bath but i think it adds to the rustic/worn shirt look. we'll pretend i was going for that, instead of doing it last-ish minute which is my M.O. (modus operandis)</div>
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i had a custom order from a friend of my SIL who wanted a few binky leashes, and i thought, "well if i'm going to make some i might as well make lots" so i made 70+! once i started pulling out fabric and cutting it, it got kind of addictive since they don't take much fabric and are a fun way to accessorize a baby:) Just need to sell them now huh?:) pretty eye candy though.</div>
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my SIL's friend also wanted a carseat cover...</div>
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some burp cloths...(nice photo bomb by Cam above) (i started making these with a curve to fit your shoulder, i love them!)</div>
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and a diaper/wipe clutch....</div>
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all of which took me far longer than it normally would have...hmmmm....i wonder why??</div>
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oh yeah, i have a baby!</div>
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how did she go from this</div>
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(on her blessing day, she was 2 weeks old)</div>
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to this amazing, funny, hot mess of a girl who will be 8 months old on thursday the 18th and who got her first 2 teeth within the same week last week, and now can army crawl!!!</div>
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watch out! she is a fast roller and now with the army crawl thrown in, no small toy/stray thread/whatever-you-left-on-the-floor is safe!</div>
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i was taking a shower yesterday and she found a friend in the mirror! i love it when they start discovering mirror friends!!! (and i love it when i get to take a shower! ha!! moms will understand that huh?)</div>
<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-70924580878777284782013-07-10T16:03:00.001-07:002013-07-10T16:03:58.116-07:008 is Great!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The Firstborn. What a hard job that must be! I am last born in my family, so I wouldn't know, but I sure am glad we have this Ethan boy as our firstborn child. He is pretty awesome! He sets a great example (most of the time;) and is compassionate and loving. Our not-so-little man turned 8 on July 2 and we are looking forward to his baptism on the 20th of this month!</div>
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He still asks me to take pictures of him</div>
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He loves his dad A LOT and is a snuggler</div>
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He is a FISH and has always loved the pool. He swims very well independently now. </div>
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He is a GREAT big brother.</div>
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Birthday morning</div>
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Cupcakes at Nana's on the 4th of july</div>
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He just looks old in this picture...how does this happen?</div>
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He loves Goldfish:)</div>
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Sibling Love</div>
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Ethan is so sweet with Cam. The other day she reached out to grab his shirt and started chewing on it and i said, "don't let her chew your shirt!" and he said, " i don't want to make her sad mom!" then she grabbed his shorts:)</div>
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He is a fast reader, he has a quick mind, and his memory is crazy good!!! We just love him tons and are so blessed to have him in our family!!!</div>
<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-50150955215262829442013-05-23T22:14:00.000-07:002013-05-23T22:14:06.477-07:00Bags<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
bags might be one of my favorite things to sew. they are useful which is a big plus for me. i try to always make useful things! and you can make them relatively quickly, and there are so many fun options!</div>
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these are Martha Stewart dish towels from a few years ago, that i have been holding onto...and i finally decided to use them for this project! these two were for mother's day recipients.</div>
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i love this fox. i am really loving foxes right now. i saw the image <a href="http://shinyhappysprinkles.com/foxy-mama-baby-shower/">here</a> and was able to make my own little guy:) so cute! i made three of these bags</div>
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and i made three of these bags too, one for mother's day and 2 for teacher appreciation. (obviously i didn't get pictures of the other two before i needed to give them, one was a purple R and i had another S in a medium blue color).<a href="http://ashleyannphotography.com/blog/2009/11/21/diy-doily-canvas-bag/"> inspiration here</a></div>
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the fox bags and stenciled initial bags were made out of drop cloth fabric that i had left over from my <a href="http://myhedwig.blogspot.com/2012/08/three-projects.html">curtains and my first ottoman attempt.</a> the back of the dishtowel bags are also drop cloth material. it didn't take long to make these bags, i just did them in snatches of time....cutting them out one day, sewing straps another time i had a minute...sewing them together in another 15 minute snatch of time i had...that's how projects go lately. whenever i have a little bit of time i work on a project for a few minutes and then baby needs me or kids need food, or to be read to, so then i leave it for a while...and come back to it later:) right now i have binky leashes and reusable snack bags cut out...waiting for their snatches of time to get worked on:) it's important for me to figure out when i can work on things, even for just a few minutes :) keeps me sane.</div>
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i have one or two more pillows for my couch that i want to finish...i'll keep snatching those minutes:)</div>
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JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-63339148431032110372013-05-23T21:56:00.002-07:002013-05-23T21:56:35.963-07:00Camryn is 6 months old!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
holy cow!! 6 months flies by huh?</div>
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happy girl</div>
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this is a girl who definitely has brothers...culprit this time was blake</div>
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cute girl, she loves to have her fingers in her mouth</div>
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on may 9th Camryn started eating some rice cereal</div>
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she loves it!</div>
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maybe a little too much! we had to cut back on the rice cereal because she's having some nursing issues now...or maybe that's because of her reflux, MAN i wish she could just TELL me what is going on you know?</div>
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Avery graduated from preschool! she had such a fun year with Mrs. Newitt. she is SOOOO excited to go to kindergarten! very excited!</div>
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we were at Nana Kay and Papa Jerry's house in Surprise, and the kids had been swimming...we decided to forgo formal naps that day but Blake persevered and slept on this chair:)</div>
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she loves to chew on her blanket, like really loves it!</div>
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Kendall has taken to calling Cam "ginger" because her hair is staying reddish...then Ethan suggested calling her "ginger newt" funny boys!</div>
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this was on her 6 month birthday:) she has sweet little chunky legs, i love this girl so much! she is giving us a little run for our money right now, but she is such a blessing and a love! her smile is amazing and brightens up our lives so much! she is amazing!!!</div>
<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-3112561580398113472013-05-09T16:51:00.001-07:002013-05-09T16:51:28.580-07:00Third Time's a Charm!<div style="text-align: center;">
alright friends, total disclosure right? Remember when i made my <a href="http://myhedwig.blogspot.com/2012/08/three-projects.html">ottoman</a> for my really pregnant self so i could put my feet up? well in case you don't or don't want to click, i stenciled a drop cloth and wasn't super exact when i was cutting it to be stapled because i thought, no one is going to see those edges right?</div>
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well i didn't finish the edges and the above picture is what the end result of my haste and not finishing the edges was...hanging threads, really really ugly!</div>
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then Blake took a sharpie to it in multiple places. and i hadn't glued the foam down to the table so it was shifty too...bad karma! so i took off that cover, got some strong spray adhesive and glued that foam down...worked like a charm!</div>
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Then i recovered it in a tiny orange stripe that i got from Home Fabrics for $3 a yd. Score!!! i cut precisely this time and finished the edges and i was super pleased with it. </div>
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but of course, Camryn spit up on it on like day 3 of life, (i had recovered it about a week before she was born:)) cause i laid her on it to change a diaper. then we spilled gripe water on it a few times...it wasn't looking too good...</div>
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i knew when i was first deciding to make one that something impervious to liquid would be best, but i didn't want to do a fabric then cover it with vinyl, too much thickness and i didn't want to mess with the two layers, and a faux leather i found at Home Fabrics was pretty but expensive and too dark for the room, with such a dark couch.</div>
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so i decided to get this laminated cotton from Joann's (when i THOUGHT i had 50% off coupon, turns out it was $1 off on sale so i couldn't use my coupon, grrrr...i had made a special trip to get it too and didn't find out about the $1 off until after it was already cut, lame! i digress...)</div>
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and i LOVE it!!! didn't take long to change out, totally is holding up well and any spills just get wiped right off...</div>
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bonus is it is bright and light and lovely. and it feels fine when i put my feet up on it, i was afraid it would have a sticking effect when your legs rested on it for a while, but it doesn't, it's great.</div>
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so now i am recovering all our pillows to be brighter/lighter in response to the ottoman change. mother's day/teacher appreciation projects interrupted my pillow sewing but i will post both of those groups of projects soon:) </div>
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yeah for learning something every time i do, and redo, a project:):)</div>
JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-39368059469499586492013-04-24T21:48:00.001-07:002013-04-24T21:48:43.524-07:0018 monthsthis month (on the 11th) we passed the 18 month marker of Christian's passing. This month he would be 20 months old and Camryn turned 5 months old, both on the 18th. I have a lot of feelings that almost seem contradictory in nature...i am so happy we have Camryn, she has a smile that takes up her whole face, I love it when she burrows into my neck. I love her little giggle she is learning to give when she finds something funny. I like catching her eye when she's in her swing or sitting with someone else and knowing that when I say, "hi beautiful girl" she will almost always smile at me. I love those things and so much more.<br />
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But at the same time, I am sad that Christian isn't here. Everyday, part of my brain is sad about that. I feel his absence, at the same time as I count him in my mind as I count the kids at the park, as I make pb & j for lunches, and wonder if he would have liked jelly or honey better. Sometimes on a particularly hard day with the kids, I think longingly of the <i>one more</i> I don't have with me. And that helps put things in perspective, because as hard as that day was with the four that are here with us, I would do the same day in an instant with the 5 we truly have. I wish we could know what his laugh sounds like, what his favorite foods are, have pictures of him rolling over and walking and have videos of his first words. I was sad when I made the list for the incoming 18 month old children in nursery at church, because I knew that the month of February, instead of having no incoming children, should have had Christian...<br />
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I don't have those things. I will not know the answers to those questions here on earth. And my heart is broken because of that. But at the same time, I have so much joy from Ethan and Avery and Blake and Camryn and I have joy because of Christian. I love that he was here, that I knew him and served him here, albeit a small portion of time, but that has made all the difference. <br />
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Having Camryn so close to Christian has been hard emotionally and mentally, not to mention physically but I know in my heart that it was the right choice for our family. As hard as having a new person is, she is also helping us heal, by being her baby self and letting us love on her all the time. She is amazingly patient with all the love and kisses and hugs and siblings trying to get her to laugh...she is what we all need. She is in no way taking Christian's place, you can't replace a child. But I firmly believe we are born in the order we are in our families for a reason. I have seen it in my own family of origin, and I see it our family, with our children. Ethan would never have survived as anything but a firstborn and Avery was born to be Ethan's little sister and Blake's big sister, she gets along with both of them well and bridges the gap between the boys. Similarly, Christian was born to bring our family closer through his time here and then through his passing away. I am not saying I know WHY he could not stay with us, because I don't, but I see the ramifications of his absence. We can be stronger together, having gone through the hard experience of saying goodbye to our fourth child. We can be stronger and better so that we can be with him again, one day. We will live for that goal. And Camryn, coming as she did on Christian's heels, is helping us knit ourselves back together. Families are amazing and I find myself intensely grateful that I have been entrusted with these amazing small people, who are small physically but so big in spirit. I looked over at Ethan the other night, as I was feeding Camryn and Ethan was having quiet reading time before bed, and I thought, he is so awesome, how fortunate I am to be his mother! I get to call them mine and my heart is full.<br />
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<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-24658276226622767322013-04-07T22:16:00.002-07:002013-04-07T22:16:59.739-07:00Easter Kids<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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oh these kids...they are so cute!!! this was Easter Sunday, the obligatory "all dressed up for church" picture, but really i think it came out pretty well! especially considering i was lame and went shopping for Avery's dress the Saturday before, in a 45 minute time window...but whew! we found one she and i agreed one and it went well with ms. cam's purple number she had been given before she was born so yahoo!</div>
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we had the traditional ward egg hunt on Good Friday, here is Camryn during the egg hunt...patient girl:)</div>
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it seems to be a thing for kids his age to put the bucket on the head...go figure huh?</div>
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nice face Blake.</div>
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that is only slightly better Blake and Ethan's smile looks a little painful, but i am thinking these are the memories we cherish you know?</div>
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Blake during the egg hunt...he kept taking eggs out of his bucket and saying,"hmmm...let's see what's in THIS one!" and then he would get all excited, "wow! candy!" or "wow, a plastic bunny!" it's the small things people!</div>
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Ethan checking his haul</div>
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this week, i got my hair cut, finally! sheesh, it had been almost 18 months.</div>
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i'm gonna donate it. there were about 11 inches for those that wanted to know:)</div>
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this girl has us all wrapped around her tiny pinkie...and is it hard to see why? man, when she wants to be charming, she is SO CUTE! and even when she doesn't want to be charming and cries, Avery finds it hilarious! go figure. sisters!</div>
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so sweet:)</div>
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and then Blake wanted in on the action (photobomber)</div>
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and then this is what i get when i ask him to smile...cheeseball</div>
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Kendall entertaining Camryn with her own tent...now the kids try to make "her own tent" for her multiple times a day...slightly dangerous but fun:)</div>
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Blake got given a George (curious that is) by our sweet neighbors. he insisted that George wanted a sandwich for lunch and he should have his own chair. i made sure to tell Blake that he couldn't really feed George, so he (Blake) would have to do the eating. He politely obliged. He carried George around and took a nap with him that day, very sweet.</div>
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<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-88150013171040007882013-03-27T10:16:00.001-07:002013-03-27T10:16:54.097-07:00Here comes Peter Cottontail...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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(oval embroidery hoop, tulle tied on the same as <a href="http://myhedwig.blogspot.com/2012/10/halloween-decorations.html">here</a>, and a little picket fence bunny:)</div>
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hopping down the bunny trail...sooner than ever! Easter just snuck right up on us!!! I had my St. Patrick's Day decorations down and Easter up promptly after the 17th, but I'm just showing you now:) I had a lot of fun decorating for Easter. I love the springy colors!!!<br />
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my ever changing shelf...</div>
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subway Easter art we did last year, the eggs you see there are MDF, the brain-child of <a href="http://peterepete-audrey.blogspot.com/">Audrey</a>, after she saw them on a Groopdealz one day and we decided to see if we could cobble together materials to make them ourselves. Big thanks to <a href="http://thewendelschafers.blogspot.com/">Michelle</a> for donating the MDF and our other friend Sam for cutting them!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NbYSYUx1r0A/UVMnKI7qWBI/AAAAAAAADFM/65b_HAwHMWU/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NbYSYUx1r0A/UVMnKI7qWBI/AAAAAAAADFM/65b_HAwHMWU/s320/photo+(1).JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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the eggs before being decorated:)</div>
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my picket fence bunnies were<a href="http://www.queenbandme.com/2013/03/easter-egg-pennant.html"> inspired by these</a>...i had white bunnies so i decided to paint the sticks instead of leaving them natural. i had the eggs to make the banner i linked to...but i liked the bunnies better and i ran out of room to put things:)</div>
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the jars are painted on the inside, i poured paint in the bottom, maybe 1-2 inches and then turned the jar upside down on a paper plate to let it drain out. it's pretty cool to watch. there will be spots where the paint won't be uniform, i just took a foam brush and gently evened it out, and you really can't tell:) more eggs, more bunnies...the printed subway art is from <a href="http://eighteen25.blogspot.com/p/subway-art-collection.html">eighteen25</a> they have lots of different ones for different seasons/holidays and i really like them:) i always print mine 8x10 from Costco and they come out beautifully.</div>
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another shot of the picket fence garland....</div>
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close up of bunny jars</div>
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close up of eggs,cause i love the bling on the little one:)</div>
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so we are ready for Easter! and frankly, i like the decorations so much, they may stay up for the majority of April, since Easter got a little short changed being in the same month as St. Patrick's Day:)</div>
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JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-53461521382036741132013-03-12T09:56:00.000-07:002013-03-12T09:56:16.370-07:00Lucky<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I LOVE green, so St. Patrick's day is a good excuse to use a lot of green!!!</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9Kic-Dy9iTY/UT9b6Z9KbDI/AAAAAAAADDM/LDY_Hn9ldx4/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9Kic-Dy9iTY/UT9b6Z9KbDI/AAAAAAAADDM/LDY_Hn9ldx4/s320/photo+(1).JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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this wreath is inspired by <a href="http://nineseventeenphotography.blogspot.com/2012/02/february-16-2012.html">this one</a>. the hearts I used are 7 inches and they each took a 3 yard roll of ribbon. If you had a little bit more, like a SMIDGE then it would be perfect, because it is really tricky to wrap the points of the hearts and the bottoms of the hearts.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dLCB1B9xR34/UT9b-86wxpI/AAAAAAAADDk/OFz0XYm9DOo/s1600/photo+(6).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dLCB1B9xR34/UT9b-86wxpI/AAAAAAAADDk/OFz0XYm9DOo/s320/photo+(6).JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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see tricky...ergo the shamrock in the middle. and i wrapped mine with twine so that i can take them apart for storage. there is no glue involved in how they are put together, for my wreath:)</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t_U8S2VkOAA/UT9b-GQtzHI/AAAAAAAADDU/4wSEN6MBQjg/s1600/photo+(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t_U8S2VkOAA/UT9b-GQtzHI/AAAAAAAADDU/4wSEN6MBQjg/s320/photo+(4).JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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free printable from<a href="http://sweetrosestudio.com/2012/02/luckiest-people-alive-printable.html"> here</a> the glittery shamrocks are from walmart, a bag of like 8 for $2 i think:)</div>
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this vinyl was from a groopdealz that happened recently, so cute! the shamrock is a pick your plum from last year that we covered with a napkin!</div>
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still loving on my rainbow sticks this year, the LUCK was from pick your plum last year too, also covered with a napkin</div>
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and here is my homage to Brian Regan...LOVE him, he's so funny! do yourself a favor and<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S52-5DPRnck"> listen to this</a> so you can laugh!</div>
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JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-15066060247584405022013-03-07T20:25:00.001-08:002013-03-07T20:25:55.024-08:00checking inLife marches on. this we know. I can hardly believe that Camryn is 3.5 months old. It baffles me how time is flying... Ethan will be 8 this year, which means he'll be baptized. I have to daily remind myself that Avery is actually 5.5 years old not 4.5 as she seems to be frozen in my mind. They are all growing up. And that is a good thing. But it just seems to happen so fast. I feel contemplative lately, I start feeling this way a lot at night, probably because it's quiet:) (it is night time as i write this:) Also I have been following along<a href="http://www.facebook.com/mitchellsjourney?ref=stream"> this family's journey</a> on Facebook. Their son passed away at age 10, last Saturday. They knew it was coming, but it is still the hardest thing they will ever do. I really believe that. I don't think there is much harder than dealing with the death of your own child. I asked my dad that when my parents were here after Christian's funeral (my parents have a child that passed away, my brother Micah). I asked him if there was anything harder than this. He said no. I believe him.<br />
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Having a new baby is awesome, tiring, beautiful, healing and hard. I don't know what I thought it would be like to have Camryn so close to Christian. I actually don't think I thought much about the logistics because quite honestly, I just needed to take things as they came and not stress about it (this is still true). Camryn was born on Christian's 15 month birthday. 33 minutes into the 18th...they are birthday buddies. I am convinced that they are good friends. I just have a feeling about it. For our family it was the right decision to have Camryn when we did. It wouldn't be right for another family maybe, but I knew that she was essential for me. She was a lifeline. But all the hormones and worries and fears of being pregnant and then having a brand new person are hard, especially when you are still grieving/trying to figure out how to grieve with this new dimension thrown, lovingly, in. We are navigating these waters as best we can. One day at a time.<br />
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As I care for Camryn, of course I think of Christian. How much we miss him, everyday, all day long. How things might be different if he were still here. Everything would be different if he were still here. But I also can feel how I am healing. At least a little bit. In some ways I feel like to heal would be to forget, but it doesn't have to be that way. And I will make sure that healing isn't forgetting in our home. Healing is healthy and healing will be remembering and honoring our Christian who isn't here. But he is here with us in spirit. <br />
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I just wanted to get some of my thoughts and feelings down...I have written many blog posts in my mind, but they haven't made it onto the computer yet:) JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-51141793102180166432013-02-15T14:37:00.001-08:002013-02-15T14:37:59.925-08:00Picture overload<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
we keep doing our normal around these parts....sometimes it seems like it's not really "blog material" but really everything is, because this is my family blog so here you go:)</div>
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this is Cam at her two month check up, she weighed 11.5 lbs and was 23 inches long! way to GROW baby! (so punny!)</div>
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these two pictures were just the other day...i was trying to catch her smile, which she is giving us more readily these days and i LOVE. but i wasn't quite quick enough! i'll get it soon i hope!</div>
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we also do this some days...but such is the life of a small person:) </div>
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these two pictures i love because she has crazy hair out of the bathtub:)</div>
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they like being together. most of the time. just like any siblings. i love it when they play together and make memories together. Blake and Avery like to watch Ethan play games...it's kind of funny they like to watch him, but whatever:) Blake said to me yesterday, "I want to go to Nana Kara's house with Ethan and Avery." i said, "i like to go there too, what do you want to do there?" and he said, "I want to watch Ethan play Pacman Party." FUNNY!</div>
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they play this game sometimes with blankets on the floor that they are pigs and the blankets are mud...this was near the end of an elaborate game where the pigs could buy things from the pig market (piggly wiggly anyone?), and Ethan had bought Avery a mud extender blanket (the white one). i love listening to them play and hearing what they dream up!</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BTGD3wwU7fY/UR611mn7yKI/AAAAAAAADB8/tKyygQHgZR8/s1600/park.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BTGD3wwU7fY/UR611mn7yKI/AAAAAAAADB8/tKyygQHgZR8/s320/park.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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last week we went to the park and it was windy and a little chilly. Cam's blanket somehow shimmied up to her nose...i love this picture though...very cute:)</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FB0PX2Z3WwM/UR6283xazaI/AAAAAAAADCU/wYzMOtIIynA/s1600/wreath.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FB0PX2Z3WwM/UR6283xazaI/AAAAAAAADCU/wYzMOtIIynA/s320/wreath.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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wreath that i made for valentine's decorations this year. love me some argyle!</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hYTIJ24llJ4/UR618t0LvTI/AAAAAAAADCM/IIh5cNxnpaw/s1600/pot+pie.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hYTIJ24llJ4/UR618t0LvTI/AAAAAAAADCM/IIh5cNxnpaw/s320/pot+pie.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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and for V-day dinner we had cupcake size chicken pot pies...very tasty if i say so myself! </div>
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like I said before, nothing earth shattering, just a lot of living going on!! i read two books (wow!), Micheal Vey and Between the Lines, they are listed on my sidebar, i liked them both very much. Micheal Vey is a series...so i may read those too:)</div>
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kendall won his first jury trial!!!!!!!!!!!! he was so pumped, and he should be. i was the jury when he practiced and i was totally convinced!!! so glad he likes what he does:)</div>
<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-83145384165983273002012-12-30T19:14:00.002-08:002012-12-30T19:14:49.598-08:006 weeks...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
long time, no type, huh??? sheesh, you'd think i just had a baby, and a major holiday or something! i am stealing a few minutes to update a little:) here is a brief synopsis of the last 6 (ish) weeks....</div>
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camryn is 6 weeks old, what the??? how did that fly by so fast! craziness!</div>
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she had her first experience in the sling when we went to see the temple lights...that was while my parents were still in town, but that picture is, unfortunately on my camera and for some weird reason the internet kicks off when i plug my camera in and it's not downloading pics...ahhhh..technology! </div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YOvvEkBp9fY/UOD84ocJsuI/AAAAAAAAC-U/-TQdpgl8s2k/s1600/camryn1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YOvvEkBp9fY/UOD84ocJsuI/AAAAAAAAC-U/-TQdpgl8s2k/s320/camryn1.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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this was her first park visit...in the sling...around 3 weeks.<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kiDhgmWIzIY/UOD9YxTITDI/AAAAAAAAC-4/lW1WsrAESUs/s1600/P1020961.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kiDhgmWIzIY/UOD9YxTITDI/AAAAAAAAC-4/lW1WsrAESUs/s320/P1020961.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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we all love camryn to tiny baby pieces but avery continues to kiss and hug and stroke her each and every time she passes her and since she makes a special effort to pass her about every 1.5 seconds...it's a lot of lovin'! but can you blame her? NO!!! i just try to keep the love to a minimum while baby is trying to sleep:)</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X7QcH_aJj3A/UOD8_TZbcCI/AAAAAAAAC-c/rtVdJefpATY/s1600/camryn2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X7QcH_aJj3A/UOD8_TZbcCI/AAAAAAAAC-c/rtVdJefpATY/s320/camryn2.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GWK6hGBKMwU/UOD9FPayRyI/AAAAAAAAC-k/AY_Ew0-KeIg/s1600/camryn7.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GWK6hGBKMwU/UOD9FPayRyI/AAAAAAAAC-k/AY_Ew0-KeIg/s320/camryn7.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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camryn's dearest ambition lately is to get her left arm out of the swaddle...we've been there before with other kids but it does make settling down hard sometimes:)</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s3JxnplG1x4/UOD9Lm8RaPI/AAAAAAAAC-s/jBKiqEIqtnA/s1600/camryn3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s3JxnplG1x4/UOD9Lm8RaPI/AAAAAAAAC-s/jBKiqEIqtnA/s320/camryn3.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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first swing experience, around 5 weeks. she likes it okay, better than her carseat which is good, but she still doesn't LOVE it. i'm okay with that though:)</div>
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basically camryn is the main attraction around these parts...oh, and new Christmas toys! Camryn weighed around 9lbs 10 oz at her one month check up, she is moving into 0-3 month clothes and wears a size 1 diaper, since about week 4 (she has very powerful gas...it was getting chancy with the newborn diapers). She is starting to make delicious baby noises and starting to smile (one of my favorite times!!!) i'll try to get a good smile, but you know sometimes that's hard until they are a little older. we all pretty much adore her, and are so happy she is in our home!</div>
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Christmas Eve tradition of acting out the nativity, Avery is always Mary, Camryn was baby Jesus, which the kids got a kick out of since she's a girl...Blake is Joseph and Ethan was a shepherd with Papa Kyle.</div>
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i made the kids (minus Camryn) Christmas pjs. the shirts are freezer paper stenciled Harry Potter shirts...Ethan's says "I solemnly swear that i am up to no good" Blake's says "mischief managed" and Avery's says "muggle born" they were fun to do...i'll have to see if i can get a better picture of the shirts later. and the pants came together quickly, probably about an hour for all three pairs...good thing too, since i didn't do them until about 2 days before Christmas eve:) i actually measured the kids in their sleep and guesstimated on the waist size based on pants they already had....worked out pretty well:) if i was smart, i'd write down the measurements though!</div>
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Kendall and i celebrated 10 years of marriage, 2 days after Christmas. We like to tell people the anniversary of our first date was Dec. 26th and we got married on the 27th....but you know about 4 years apart:) our trip to VA and WA DC that we took this summer was to celebrate our anniversary because we knew with a small baby we wouldn't be up to a big thing in December...but we had a great time, Camryn did so well and we ate at the Cheesecake Factory and of course had tasty cheesecake after! and then watched a movie at home...</div>
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kendall....</div>
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kendall's funny face...(he's a keeper:))</div>
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me</div>
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at the risk of being super mushy...i can't imagine my life without Kendall. He is so kind and loving and a fantastic husband and father. He helps me be a better person. In our 10 years together, we've lived in 3 states, 8 different houses, accomplished 2 undergraduate degrees and one law degree. We've had dozens of church callings, Kendall's in a bishopric now, we've had some job changes, including a recent one. we've been super poor, and not as poor:) We've delivered 5 children, had to bury one child, we've been sick, been well, laughed a lot, cried an ocean. we've been on hundreds of dates, been really mad, made up...and i wouldn't change who we have become together because of the last 10 years.</div>
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I love you honey. You are the best person that has ever happened to me. Thank you for being there for me, always. Here's to another million years together:)</div>
<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-861342500662173402012-11-25T18:41:00.000-08:002012-11-25T18:41:05.103-08:00she's here!!! i was having some trouble with the blog...posting pictures! i got that figured out (by adding another author...just myself under a different email address i already had) and now i can post! yahoo!!!<br />
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Camryn Elaine was born on Sunday Nov. 18th, at 12:33 am, she weighed 8lbs 3 oz and was 21.5 inches long. (although when we went to her first dr appointment on the following tuesday she was only 20 inches long...riddle me that!) i am never very sure the hospital measurement is very accurate because the baby is squalling and moving around so much!</div>
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fresh from birthing...</div>
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scale</div>
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mom and baby</div>
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the kids came for a visit later on sunday, after church, and they were lucky enough to be there when the cookie lady came! what a great day! a new sister AND a cookie? awesome!</div>
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nana sharon and ethan with camryn</div>
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and daddy</div>
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avery could not be any more smitten with a baby...seriously...it's serious love we have going on over here</div>
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papa lewi with camryn</div>
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this sums up the way we felt that day...sleepy:) since she was born in the wee hours of the morning, not much sleep was had!</div>
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i'll do a full post next for those that want to know the whole shebang story...in the meantime, we are so happy to be loving our little girl, she's a week old today and is doing really well! we are getting to know each other and learning more everyday! she is eating like a champ and i am feeling good, just normal tired:) and very happy to have her here.</div>
<br />j. wilsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12216350006129094813noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-79531070614595367652012-11-25T17:59:00.000-08:002012-11-25T17:59:09.192-08:00halloween pictures in november...i realized i never posted pictures from our actual halloween/pumpkin carving/Blake's birthday party on Halloween...and there's not a ton but i do love to document things so here we go:)<br />
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ethan was super gung ho to get carving tools and do his own pumpkin...oh help!<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QcIWxYHDnHg/ULLMaNDPFSI/AAAAAAAAAXI/c42aoUT9c3Y/s1600/P1020902.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QcIWxYHDnHg/ULLMaNDPFSI/AAAAAAAAAXI/c42aoUT9c3Y/s320/P1020902.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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he actually did a really great job and carved almost his whole pumpkin by himself! i was so proud! but now he might think he can use knives...oh dear!</div>
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avery was a little less excited to clean it out and she wasn't quite strong enough to do a lot of carving...good thing it was ethan to the rescue!!!</div>
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blake was kind of along for the ride, he didn't love cleaning and is too young to carve ( i have to draw the line somewhere right?) but he does make a cute pumpkin head:)</div>
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all done!</div>
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and a scary one!!!!</div>
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<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-38495696476992730302012-11-23T20:33:00.000-08:002012-11-23T20:33:12.312-08:00out of space...it would figure that when i get a window of time to post...i am out of space on my blog for pictures...have you had this problem??? what have you done to solve it??? any advice is appreciated!!<br />
<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-7541250624756509962012-11-14T16:36:00.001-08:002012-11-14T16:36:54.166-08:00Nursery Sewing...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So no baby yet, thought i'd share some of the sewing i've been doing for her....</div>
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we decided to get a new crib this time...our old one had been recalled twice, so we took it in and got credit on a gift card to buy a new one, which was awesome! i decided to get <a href="http://www.walmart.com/ip/Baby-Mod-Modena-3-in-1-Fixed-Side-Crib-Cool-Grey/15529734">this gray one</a>...but didn't buy it soon enough, then it went out of stock for a while...and it finally came back in stock a month or so ago, i was so happy!!!</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4VzmdGWDhPU/UKQoGnyRt5I/AAAAAAAAC5w/2DJQ9FM9Rpw/s1600/nursery2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4VzmdGWDhPU/UKQoGnyRt5I/AAAAAAAAC5w/2DJQ9FM9Rpw/s320/nursery2.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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pretty much all the fabrics i used came from Joann's, the yellow dot on white is actually an old sheet i thrifted a while ago. i made the dust ruffle and bunting...</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Sq8XEpwsL3Y/UKQoMWRshlI/AAAAAAAAC54/vGczyNfnH6o/s1600/nursery1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Sq8XEpwsL3Y/UKQoMWRshlI/AAAAAAAAC54/vGczyNfnH6o/s320/nursery1.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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this is the "quilt" folded up...it's not a quilt really (cause i am SO NOT a quilter), i didn't put batting in it, because i wanted it to be thin enough to use all year here in AZ, but i do like the appliqued circles...<a href="http://www.purlbee.com/mini-quilt-circular-applique/">inspired by this quilt</a>...</div>
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i decided to make burp cloths a little different this time...try out a new shape, <a href="http://cloud9fabrics.blogspot.com/2010/12/tutorial-contoured-burp-cloths.html">got the pattern from here</a>, and i think i'll like them a lot. i had a bunch of terry cloth and then i also cut up a towel that was falling apart to use as the back. i put a layer of flannel in the middle for extra absorbency.</div>
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i also made some binky clips...there are a ton of tutorials for these, i based mine on<a href="http://bnnbcrafts.blogspot.com/2011/11/binky-clip-tutorial.html"> this one</a>, but i folded the <a href="http://www.danamadeit.com/2012/09/tutorial-pacifier-clips.html">fabric like this one</a>, instead of turning the tube of fabric as in the first tutorial.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3RQTsSGX8Mo/UKQo0vC8-HI/AAAAAAAAC6w/9IunsmabiJU/s1600/nursery14.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3RQTsSGX8Mo/UKQo0vC8-HI/AAAAAAAAC6w/9IunsmabiJU/s320/nursery14.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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i like that i can make new straps and they are interchangeable, the clips are velcroed on.</div>
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then i decided i was feeling hat-ish, so i made one from <a href="http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2011/02/knit-receiving-blanketknit-baby-hats_08.html">this tutorial</a> (top), and<a href="http://sewmamasew.com/blog2/2011/04/free-tie-top-beanie-pattern-jen-from-tie-dye-diva/"> this tutorial </a>(bottom) with the tie top.</div>
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i made 3 swaddling blankets, that are large, 36x36 inches. two are flannel (on sale at joann's when i bought it) and one is gauze that i dyed (tie dyed)...can't stop dyeing things!</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Sb8v1PZNpOg/UKQotGUA6mI/AAAAAAAAC6o/ndoTS7Avht0/s1600/nursery9.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Sb8v1PZNpOg/UKQotGUA6mI/AAAAAAAAC6o/ndoTS7Avht0/s320/nursery9.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O-v9STIL-m4/UKQo7O9-KfI/AAAAAAAAC64/csWKHm1UyX4/s1600/nursery+6.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-O-v9STIL-m4/UKQo7O9-KfI/AAAAAAAAC64/csWKHm1UyX4/s320/nursery+6.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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this is a changing pad...the tutorial for this one is over at <a href="http://www.lilblueboo.com/2011/07/vinyl-tablecloth-roll-up-diaper-changer-a-tutorial-and-download.html">Lil Blue Boo</a></div>
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made from vinyl tablecloths i found at Big Lots....</div>
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outside</div>
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inside</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dEre-NPe5sw/UKQpPExyK0I/AAAAAAAAC7Q/3jyDyCV2ULg/s1600/nursery10.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dEre-NPe5sw/UKQpPExyK0I/AAAAAAAAC7Q/3jyDyCV2ULg/s320/nursery10.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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carseat cover that i made...my own pattern that i made up a couple of years ago...i weight the corners with washers that are sewn into the cover, so it can't blow away:)</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-daPt1N1lRrk/UKQpWdk-4qI/AAAAAAAAC7Y/m-YAPIxTzBA/s1600/nursery12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-daPt1N1lRrk/UKQpWdk-4qI/AAAAAAAAC7Y/m-YAPIxTzBA/s320/nursery12.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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and i can't stop with these covered buttons! i really must buy them in bulk, ASAP!</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_HPiriVtg44/UKQpbjvlziI/AAAAAAAAC7g/IRms-sdiS2E/s1600/nursery11.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_HPiriVtg44/UKQpbjvlziI/AAAAAAAAC7g/IRms-sdiS2E/s320/nursery11.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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the other thing i made was a headband that was inspired by this one...which has no tutorial...but i love the wider pieces of fabric around the babies head...</div>
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<img height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pDbLHebIBhc/T52jfPm4PkI/AAAAAAAADm0/aaCXDWfne_o/s320/knotheadband.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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<a href="http://www.lovestitched.com/my-tutorial/knotted-jersey-headband-tutorial/">there is a tutorial here,</a> which i referenced when making mine, to help me tie the knot correctly, i just made mine with wider pieces of knit and didn't pull them tight to make them curl in on themselves.</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JjLGywiGObE/UKQ4vb5zt0I/AAAAAAAAC8Y/yYfAh3moLQo/s1600/nursery16.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JjLGywiGObE/UKQ4vb5zt0I/AAAAAAAAC8Y/yYfAh3moLQo/s320/nursery16.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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here's mine, yes i put it on a jar of peanut butter, i needed something for it to go around that wouldn't stretch it out a ton before it gets put on the baby's head:) i like the way it turned out, it is soft and the wider pieces of knit look and feel like they will be more comfortable than the smaller curled up ones to me...we shall see.</div>
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and if you made it to the end of this post...wow, thanks a bunch! </div>
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that's some of what i've been making for baby girl Camryn...hopefully she arrives soon to be able to enjoy them:):)</div>
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JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-29227678885363701452012-10-31T08:02:00.001-07:002012-10-31T08:03:38.462-07:00Halloween Baby<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
we have a boy at our house who is turning 3 today!!!! </div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JDJwIE6tveI/UJE7WlxyoFI/AAAAAAAAC48/PZ2jBDm8Uo0/s1600/blake+033.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JDJwIE6tveI/UJE7WlxyoFI/AAAAAAAAC48/PZ2jBDm8Uo0/s320/blake+033.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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Here's Mr. Blake, going home from the hospital! i love that monster sleeper! so cute! Blake has always been a sweet soul, a little more mellow than Ethan and Avery were as babies/small kids, which is a welcome change, i'm not gonna lie:) </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-anjmWH1OPh8/UJE5uDQ2xXI/AAAAAAAAC4E/RJnseQ9gFoM/s1600/kids5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-anjmWH1OPh8/UJE5uDQ2xXI/AAAAAAAAC4E/RJnseQ9gFoM/s320/kids5.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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Blake also has a charming way about him, he endears himself to people, almost immediately! it is actually very interesting to watch....he's squishy and sweet and cute and his smile is contagious!!!</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-piU_GPyvQfA/UJE5yRXIzOI/AAAAAAAAC4M/6EOKk7meiEA/s1600/blake+sleeping+in+car.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-piU_GPyvQfA/UJE5yRXIzOI/AAAAAAAAC4M/6EOKk7meiEA/s320/blake+sleeping+in+car.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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Bless the third child, he sleeps anywhere...AND easily transfers to his bed! and always has! amazing!!!</div>
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Avery and Ethan will randomly run at him during the day, and give him a squeeze (probably too hard) and say, "what? i just can't help it, mom, he's so CUTE!!!"</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T-vsfsLwNug/UJE6JpZBJjI/AAAAAAAAC40/r7hyhMtK-V8/s1600/blake+hat.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T-vsfsLwNug/UJE6JpZBJjI/AAAAAAAAC40/r7hyhMtK-V8/s320/blake+hat.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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here's our cowboy from last night's trunk or treat!!! we are so blessed to have Blake in our family. He loves to read, he plays by myself or with others well (for the most part:)), he loves to swim, loves to be outside, will give you a hug and kiss when you need one, he is deliberately funny and has been for a couple of years, making us laugh and smile throughout the day.</div>
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Happy Birthday Little Man!!!!</div>
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<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-81856866278013244222012-10-14T07:36:00.000-07:002012-10-14T07:36:33.457-07:00Halloween Decorations<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
i love halloween, i really do. i have always liked it, i like the colors, the candy, dressing up is fun. it has gotten even more fun with kids added into the mix, and then take into account that B-man's birthday is ON halloween and we've got ourselves a serious party:)</div>
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here's some of our decorations this year...</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hKUtiukaBpY/UHjNqgNiBMI/AAAAAAAAC2Q/MHp8Be6rOEE/s1600/P1020886.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hKUtiukaBpY/UHjNqgNiBMI/AAAAAAAAC2Q/MHp8Be6rOEE/s320/P1020886.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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front door. i made this tulle wreath with some marvelous ladies in my area who attend the craft group that i organize. this wreath was inspired by <a href="http://somethingtodo-jamie.blogspot.com/2009/09/two-easy-to-make-wreaths.html">one here</a>, we used embroidery hoops, just one piece and it took about 1.5 spools of tulle.</div>
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my bench by the front door...</div>
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closer...this sign is inspired by <a href="http://www.lilblueboo.com/2011/09/distressed-trick-or-treat-sign.html">this one over at Lil Blue Boo</a> they provided a download of the words, already flipped the wrong way for us, that was awesome!!! i decided to add some orange to make it pop:) i like it!!!</div>
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just inside our front door...i made this sign a few years ago with some friends...we crackled it, and that was fun! our skeleton welcoming his friends...</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-30u7hG4q24s/UHjN2-oVUFI/AAAAAAAAC2Y/odkWIDvA-_w/s1600/P1020887.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-30u7hG4q24s/UHjN2-oVUFI/AAAAAAAAC2Y/odkWIDvA-_w/s320/P1020887.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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my entry table...with the countdown (obviously not current to today, but you know:)) jar pumpkins there too...</div>
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printable from <a href="http://tatertotsandjello.com/2011/09/halloween-eye-chart-pillow-printable.html">Tatertots and Jello</a></div>
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i got the rat silhouettes and some spider silhouettes at the dollar tree...i love the dollar tree:) also the window clings on the mirror (and the sliding glass door, not pictured) came from there too:)</div>
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the mummy jar, and candy corn cone (and spider on the vase) are new this year...the rest is remixed from years past...</div>
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my 2x4 friends we made last year in craft group</div>
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even the picture wall got attacked with the spider silhouettes this year... i like the subtle cute/spooky:)</div>
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and some spiders on the lampshade:)</div>
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there are other things scattered about...but those are the highlights...i just love to get out all my seasonal stuff and the kids get excited about it too:) it's a fun time.</div>
<br />JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7933877822279306758.post-19347277302296255532012-10-11T07:58:00.001-07:002012-10-11T07:58:45.303-07:00Dear Christian,Today is a day that I have thought about a lot over the last year. How would we feel? What would we do? What kind of place will we be in emotionally, physically, spiritually...Today marks one year since you left our family. I remember that day last year with perfect clarity, the days after not so well. But Oct. 11 of last year stands out...and much of it is very personal to me, but it was a very hard day, sweet little boy, very hard. We never even thought of this outcome...ever. Always when you have a procedure or surgery the very most extreme outcome is leaving the hospital without your loved one...but that is the extreme, that doesn't usually happen. But it did happen to us. And everyday I look at your sweet picture on the wall, that will never change, and I am sad that you are not here with us. Everyday. This last year, it seems impossible that it has been a year but time has passed, has changed us all. We have changed in many ways that we are not even aware of yet. Want an example? A few Sundays ago, your sister went to the bathroom at church and then I went right after her to check on her because I can't really handle letting your siblings out of my sight if they are within my reach...we couldn't find her. At first I was sure she had gone in the men's bathroom with your older brother, but I called to her, she didn't answer. I asked E if she was in there, he said no. I looked methodically around the church, in vacant rooms, on the stage, in small places where she might like to hide, outside even...she was nowhere. By the time 10 minutes had passed I was panic-filled. My mind went a lot of places I couldn't handle...your dad came out of the meeting and helped look, and finally found her, where? In the men's bathroom, that I had now called into frantically at least twice with no answer. She was hiding in there. Once we had her out, I just started sobbing. That experience taught me two things; obviously I can't let Miss A go to the bathroom alone, even at 5 years old, and, secondly, even though I would have normally been upset about her disappearance, my reaction was greatly enhanced...because of our previous experiences. Our lives and our reactions are influenced by what has happened previously, and you passing away was a traumatic and life-changing event. That has changed the landscape of our lives, and our family forever.<br />
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I am sad for all the things that we won't experience with you...all of your first and seconds and thirty-thirds...all the things I don't know about you. I can infer some things because you have siblings and we might assume that you would be similar but I will not know about YOU personally, at least not for a long while, until we meet again. I am sad that there will always been an asterisk in our family...we tell people that this is our 5th baby we are expecting and when they ask us the ages of the other four...there's the * by you. Because while we know how old you are (14 months old on the 18th of Oct), you are not here with us and it seems wrong not to include you in our family line up but also weird not to acknowledge the fact that you are not with us. Such a hard subject to broach, and all from a simple question asked by a stranger who has no idea what this last year has been for our family.</div>
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There are things I am not sad about...I will never be sad that you came to our family. That you are still a part of our family. You will always be with us, in our hearts, in our minds. We feel you near us, we think of you everyday. We say goodnight to you every night. We visit your memorial marker and speak to you. But we will always want more. Because we love you. Very much. We were at a mall play area a couple of weeks ago and I saw some little boys running around, one a year old and one 15 months old, and I saw another little boy there, 13.5 months old, fitting right in, and playing with them...it was you. And it was all I could do to not cry. </div>
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But we always smile when we think of the 7 weeks that you were here in our home. You brought us and those around you so much joy and love. We all remember how sweet and soft and little you were. How your diapers didn't smell bad, how you were learning to smile and make little cute noises. We will keep those treasures in our hearts, until we are reunited again. Because we know that families are forever, and we know that you are not all that far from us, and that one day we will all be together again.</div>
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We love you.</div>
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Love,</div>
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Mom, Dad and your crazy siblings</div>
JenWhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03705905766166438966noreply@blogger.com9