i have come to the conclusion that all i need is a little bit of perspective every once in a while.
sometimes, i'll admit, i get frustrated with my children. why you might ask? i thought your kids were perfect! (ha, i say in retort) but really, i get frustrated when ethan yells at me for the 80 millionth time that day and i have to send him to time out and when avery will only sleep for 30-40 minutes at a time and is still grumpy when she wakes up...stuff. but it frustrates me that i get frustrated because then i feel like i am grumpy mommy and who wants grumpy mommy? no one, least of all me. ergo i need perspective.
for my perspective i should probably read Elder Ballard's talk once a day and listen to that song, "you're gonna miss this" which made me cry the first time i heard it.
i don't want to make myself cry, let's get that straight right now, but i DO want to remember that my children are small and cute and lovable and maddening at times, and that's how it's SUPPOSED TO BE! and let's get this out of the way too...where is the family or mom or children of the SUPPOSED land? for some reason, in my head, there are people who do things a certain way that i compare my sweet little children to as in, "well, he's SUPPOSED to put himself to sleep" or "she's SUPPOSED to take 2 naps a day for at least an hour" or "2 is SUPPOSED to be hard but three is SUPPOSED to be better"
you know stuff like that. and i have learned that you can't really do that, but in the back of my mind, it's still there. i know it's unrealistic as is the following, "as a mom i am SUPPOSED to get a shower every single day, have my house looking neat and clean and not ever get upset at my children"
but it's just not fair, not to me, not to my kids and especially not to kendall who has to deal with it when all my suppositions come crashing down on my head. and it's frankly not even okay to compare your child with themselves..."well she slept really well last month..." well, honey, that was last month and today is today and TODAY she doesn't want to take a nap! so there!
anyway, all i'm saying is i need to have a perspective that helps me take it all in stride and remember that these children are beautiful and wonderful, and i know that's true, and pretty soon, sooner than i'd like they are going to be 14 and stuff and then i'll look back and wish i could hold my baby and run and blow bubbles with my son and make everything better with a kiss and maybe a band-aid.
so to all you moms out there, like Elder Ballard says, "First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction" and as anna quindlen was quoted in that same talk: "The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”
so let's let our hearts be with our treasures and kiss the babies and blow the bubbles and leave the stress at the door.
thank you for hearing my public service annoucement...you may now go back to your regularly unscheduled children/lives.